Wednesday, June 8, 2011

What Bentley Really Is

So I am addicted to the Bachlorette this season. It is only episode 3 and my oh my the drama. I thought women were worse but I may have to rethink my stance because 1- Bentley is a DRAMA KING, 2- Guy in mask, 3- William's bragging, 4- JP pouting over a coin toss, and 5- at any point I expect a fist fit over whose date was better.

So the real reason I am writing this blog is because I have decided that Bentley has the Utah dating syndrome. Many may not agree with my opinion but here is what I am seeing in the dating scene here in Salt Lake City and the LDS culture and how it translates to what Bentley did on the Bachlorette.

  • The grass is greener mentality.  In the Utah dating scene guys are always saying they do not want to settle down or date someone specific because what if there is someone who is better looking, is nicer, has bigger boobs or skinner, is more spiritual, they have more fun with, they can cook, drives a better car, has more money, kisses better, etc.  That is exactly what Bentley did.  He saw the greener grass in the form of Emily and never even gave Ashley a real chance.
  • The selfish mentality.  Bentley was more concerned with his hair then with making Ashley cry.  I will admit that I kind of laughed at that comment but it was a real jerky thing to say.  So here in Utah I am finding that the guys are more interested in what they want to do or how they feel than any girl they are dating.  Their time is very important and they just want to have fun.  They will put their wants before any girl's they are dating.  Basically, their main interest is themselves.
  • It is all a game.  To Bentley it was just a game to see if he could win the rose and make her like him the most.  It worked.  The minute he didn't win the rose and knew that she was in the palm of his hand he was ready to bail.  It is the thrill of the chase.  How many times have I heard from guys they liked the fact that the girl was a challenge and once he had won their interest he just was not interested anymore.  Guys love the game of dating just like Bentley like the game of winning a rose.
  • They tell you want to hear.  To quote Bentley he said that he spoke to Ashley like she was a girl he was into.  He then lied and said he was leaving because of this daughter.  Of course she would accept this answer.  He also left it as dot dot dot.  WHAT?!?! Why tell her that when you have no interest.  In Utah what I see is guys just say anything to make it easier for themselves.  They tell a girl they will ask them out but never do.  Say sweet words for a make out.  Appease the person until the something better comes along because they don't want to be bored.  ALL LIES!
  • Finally, they just don't treat women right.  Bentley treated Ashley like she was nothing.  NO ONE deserves to be treated in such a horrible manner but in the dating scene in SLC it happens all the time.  Guys do not step up and treat women the way they should.  Women are not important to them and it shows.  Where are the gentlemen?  I think ever boy should get a copy of the book How to be a Gentleman.
I would like to add a few disclaimers.  First, I am making this comparison based on the fact the Bentley lives in SLC and there are some strong correlations between him and the dating scene here.  I do not believe all men are like this.  In fact I know they are not because I have seen the men the women in my family have married as well as the wonderful men my friends have married.  Second, I do not know if these issues are the same outside of Utah because I don't live there.  All I know is based on what I have watched on the Bachlorette (I know not a great comparison) I can make an argument against all my opinions for men outside of Utah and probably outside the Mormon culture.  I do believe that many of the items above are why the singles of the LDS church are not getting married.  I think it applies to both men and women. Also, I have a case study for each of my opinions above it you don't believe there are any men out there like that.  Finally, I am not cynical about the dating scene even if it might seem that way.  I just think there are many men like Bentley out there and that maybe Utah has a few more of them.

3 comments:

  1. I hate Bentley. He's a sorry excuse for a man and men just need to grow up and get over themselves!! Love you Lauren!

    ReplyDelete
  2. I love this post. Agreed in every way. But it's true...not all guys are like that. Few and far in between. I got lucky...knew it from the moment you said he helped you carry in groceries :) You will get lucky too (haha...pun intended :) Love you!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Bentley is, well, many words that I should not say. So I agree with you!!

    ReplyDelete