COOOOOOLD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I just want to say you know it is cold when you walk outside the last 2 mornings and your wet hair freezes.

I HATE Chicken!

I have decided that I hate chicken and I am leaning that way with turkey. 

Here is why.  For the last week I have been trying to change my diet and eating habits based on a book I got for Christmas.  I have been so good.  For 2 weeks I was eating more veggies and chicken.  Yesterday, I blew it.  I had given blood and felt like I needed something real to eat.  Lettuce and chicken were not going to cut it.  Then I visited Nicole in the hospital and brought Kenyan dinner.  I order a turkey dinner to go along with his because he could not decide between 2 things.  Mashed potatoes are yummy.  I have missed good tasting food.

Today for lunch I couldn't go back to veggies and chicken.  I couldn't bring myself to be excited for healthy food.  I wanted cheese, bread, and soup.  Not good when you are trying to lose 100 lbs.  So here is my dilemma.  I love food and I love eating good tasting food.  How do I diet and eat well in order to lose weight if what I really want is the fatty foods of times past? 

It is a constant battle between the fat and skinny girl in me.  Some days suppressing the fat girl is really really hard.  So to the people who say to lose weight you have to eat right and work out how do you overcome the two personalities within.  Skinny girl loves the feel of losing weight, loose clothes, and the feeling of not being really full.  Fat girl loves the taste of chewing a cheeseburger with fries, the feeling that you have stuffed yourself with the foods you love or are craving, and in a way thinking I am already fat what will this food matter.  The flip side is each girl hates some of the things the other loves. 

Food is a constant battle.  Should I eat this, Should I not.  Some days I am strong and some times I want to say who gives a damn.  What I can't get across is that the Lauren that is neither fat girl or skinny girl does give a damn.

Clearing Snow

So as I was finishing up my last blog I thought I would share this story.

The Tuesday after Christmas it was snowing really bad.  It was the really wet slushy kind.  I had drive down to my parents.  My dad was at work and the driveway really needed cleared.  I volunteered.  Someone really should talk me through these decisions before I make them.

I don't own boots or shoes that aren't slip ons so I pulled on my mom's boots (with no socks) that were a couple sizes too big.  Then I put on my grandma's old yellow fleece and the little gloves that don't really do anything if they get wet. 

I then trudge out to the garage to turn on the snow blower.  Yeah, not smarter than the snow blower.  I called my dad who was at work and he walks me through how to start it.  Why don't they make those like cars with a key.  It took a little bit but finally, after filling up the gas, it stays running.  Now it is time to get to work. 

I don't know how to describe this process.  At first I am thinking this is great and even fun.  That lasts until I have to back up the snow blower.  I didn't know it has a reverse option so I was pulling backwards.  I know I looked like an idiot.  I kept trudging along as my mom's boots were leaking water and my gloves were wet.  Then my favorite part happened.  I fell.  Shocker I know.  I was trying to push it up the driveway and struggling and my feet decided to go the opposite direction.  Smack.  I hit the slushy pavement hard.  I still have a bruise today and was not able to kneel for a long time.  I wanted to quit but I still had half a driveway to complete.  So I hurried up and finished.
 
So as I was walking in my mom opens the door and the first thing I say is "I only fell once." I think that was an accomplishment.  Then I looked in the mirror.  This is what I looked like.  Guess I should have worn a better coat and a hat.

New Year!

So it has been over 2 months since I have blogged.  I am a slacker.  Guess the goal of blogging every week is starting now. I hope.

So here are some random thoughts I have had lately.

Are there any good movies out?  I haven't seen anything in a long time.

Business trips are not where you have time to have fun in Orlando.  You have to make your own fun with the people you are with.

Painting strips on a wall is not as hard as people think.  Picking the right paint is.  Just ask Nicole.

I finally found a meal plan where I am losing weight.  I made the most amazing soup tonight.

I need to blog about the goals I have accomplished from my 112.

I am excited for President's weekend because I get to go and see Holly!!!!!

Sometimes sitting on your couch and listening to music and doing nothing else is sure a nice pastime.

Is it weird that on my Pandora Radio I have both the Alternative channel and Country channel playing at the same time?  It is a great mix.  Love them.

Can't wait until Nicole has her baby.

Gnomes are the best!  I can't wait until Gnomeo and Juliet comes to theatres near you.

Kind of sick of snow.  I don't mind it if I can still wear flip flops and not get my feet wet.  Remember when flip flops were called thongs but now thongs are dental floss underwear.

My little brother is getting married.  He always joked he would beat his sisters to the alter and he was right.

Sometimes when you sit and look around you can't help but feel such great gratitude and joy.  I have been given so much by my Father in Heaven.  I am so blessed.

 On my last thought I typed suck instead of such.  Kind of changes the meaning of things.

Well, I think that is it for this week.  I am going to try and blog about the aquarium and my henna tats this week.

Nostalgia

Today, my old roommate and good friend Natalie Graham got married.  She looked beautiful and it was a beautiful ceremony and reception.

One of the nice things was seeing all my old friends from Turnberry.  It has been awhile since we were last together.  As we sat together and reminisced about old times we talked about funny quotes, funny situations, what we are all up to now, how we should get together more and all the great memories we have.  It kind of made me sad because I realized how fun that time in my life was and how may great people I hung out with.  It made me miss all of them. 

As I got to think about it more I realize that life moves on.  People move, they get married, start school, change jobs, have children, get busy with church, have life changing events, and grow as people.  If we all stayed where we were we cannot progress.  Life moves on.  It is sad because you can never go back to those times where you had the best moments and the most fun.  I think the time with those friends were some of my best.

My other thought is wow I have great memories with amazing people who have touched my life.  I can't wait to see what other great times are ahead and what other memories I will make with old and new friends.  I don't want to focus on the past but look to the future.

Here are some Turnberry friend pictures.

Tiffany Finley, Todd Kohler, Me, Heidi Shepherd, Natalie Williams (Graham), Brook Smith (Bodell), Melissa McOmie, Brett Valdez, Dyana Valdez (Martin), and Nettie Martin

The Girls
Brooke Preece, Me, Melissa McOmie, Natalie Williams (Graham), Brooke Smith (Bodell), Kaleigh Udy, Heidi Shepherd, and Tiffany Finley

Top 10 Things I Learned From My First Emergency Room Visit

10.  I cry when I really don't feel good.
            It wasn't until I started crying from my side hurting that I knew I was in trouble.

9.  I have no modesty.
            I always knew I didn't care what people saw but now I know that if I am in pain I really don't care.

8.  It is hard to find a vein to put in an IV.
            I ended up getting poked 3 times in order to find a vein to put in the IV.  This does not include all the time it took to find the veins to even poke.  Look at the pictures of my hands below.

7.  People in Utah County are really nice.
            Everyone at the hospital took great care of me.  They explained everything clearly and wanted to make sure I felt better.

6.  My body is not normal.
            Okay I am not normal in general but all my tests were just off.

5.  I worry about things.
            I am sitting in pain in the hospital and I am worried about how I didn't make it to my cousin's boys football games and work.

4.  I have a great reaction to drugs.
            Most of this knowledge comes from when I got my wisdom teeth out but I do get very happy on drugs.

3.  My parents are wonderful.
           I knew this already but just have to say how amazing they are.  My dad took me to the hospital and helped me get over all the needle pokes.  My mom when I got home put me to bed.   Then they both took care of me the next few days

2.   I know how many fingers it takes to make myself throw up.
           When I first got sick I just wanted to throw up so I stuck 2 fingers down my throat.

1. I know my drug of choice.
            During my stay they gave me some drugs which the nurse compared to heroine.  Then when I was getting another test done they had to give me morphine.  I like heroine.  It makes me happy and euphoric.

 Left Hand - Bruises after 3 days

Right Hand - Bruises after 4 days

Attitude is Everything!

One of the things I have been thinking this week is about attitude.  It affects everything.  Your attitude is how you deal with trials and how you respond to all situations.  This week I have had a couple of conversations about this and how I am perceived. 

So this is how I normally deal with situations.  There were times when I was going to school full time and working full time and I felt like I couldn't survive.  I had breakdowns and cried.  Many times I thought I wouldn't make it through.  Guess what I did.  Now I know that what doesn't kill you only makes you realize what you can get through and what your strength is.  Another quote my old boss used to say "they can't take away your birthday." So anytime something crappy happens I think it is not going to kill me and I will always have my birthday.

Another thing that I always think is I don't want to be the bitter, negative, nothing goes my way person because I can't stand those people.  I want to be positive and look for the best in everything (not that I always do).  So look at your attitude and look for the positive because you can always get through it.